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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Episode 200: Edie Quinn w guest host Elias Amini, Demo MMXXIV, Episode 199: Ben Kraco (Depiction of Man), Episode 198: Tracy Wilson (Outer World, Dahlia Seed), Episode 197: Josh McIntyre (Malevich), Episode 196: Ben Rudolph (Stress Positions, C.H.E.W.), Komarov, Episode 195: Lacey Jade (theyhungusfrompowerlines), and 377 more.
1. |
Intangible
01:20
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stuck behind
intangible
barriers
must reprocess
how to administer
the love and support
they say to find a way
back to yourself
but have they ever seen
a closed off path?
break throughs don't come easy now
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2. |
Filtered
00:59
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Wait! Disconnect! Desperate.
Expired seconds from a stolen minute.
Screen defeat on repeat.
On and on...
Forget all memories.
Commit to fantasy
and never see the sun's unfiltered reprise
shine down on me.
No opportunity to wake up from this fever dream.
Anchored by ads and perfect smiles,
pulling from under screen.
Selling the shit you'll never need
to make life more complete.
It never ends.
It never works out that way.
Can't understand?
Lost in the palm of your hand.
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3. |
The Pit II
00:59
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hoy podríamos bailar (al mismo ritmo)
y espero que mañana sea igual
un viento frío nos va a acariciar
todo lo colorido va a contrastar y a brillar
(hoy) vasos vacíos, el piso va a calmar
esto no es algo más
el camino tiene calor
tiene una luz
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4. |
Signaling
01:03
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hide behind tending sounds
my grievance lurks in dark
words rain our trenches muddy
til we’re crawling from your [re]marks
only evidence a wrapper,
that you pocketed as a trophy
of a kill while I ‘tell secrets’
[of how] your actions don’t match words
power is a guillotine (keep me at bay)
my heads beneath your blades
for many spirits killed silently (just say her name)
why must I be executed to save
all them under your shadow
illuminate their names
you’ll be seen for what you are;
A virtue signaling farce
with all your trust in this world
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5. |
||||
Like a hooded death figure graced with the sweetest voice that's ever lured fresh game to its economic plate. Baring fangs oh so enticing. Supply and demand. Crushed by laissez faire's hand. Intricate natures formed from greed, supposedly backed by numbers, are the walls of our home. A locked box with no windows. An invisible prison of economic proportions.
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6. |
Ropewalker
00:50
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i cant tell you the future
or the sins of the past
i dont have any reason
to choose to expect this to last
paint a portrait
of this time in your life
or sink yourself into
endless planning
find the ways
to play tricks on your mind
leave your sanity far behind
i cannot tell you the future
or the damning sins of the past
i don't have any reason
to choose to expect this to last
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7. |
Reach
00:56
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swept out to sea
no place to anchor me
can’t find my bearings
the horizon is out of reach
so i’ll ride these waves
with no ground to break
desire keeps swelling
never to dissolve
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8. |
Motives
00:53
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They want you to die
they’ve wanted you to die
i didn’t care til i realized
that they would kill me too!
just to get to you
Now , i guess i care
that they want you to die .
they
You
me
i
Lots of different terms we use
To weigh, feign, and sever ties
what is useful , what is true
what centers me and leverages you?
Now , i guess i care
Since i can leverage you
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9. |
Calm Without The Chaos
01:00
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I fear that you may have been right
Nighttime stumble
Daytime warmth
Functional yet dependent
I never wanted to be this way
Wide awake 3am remorseful
Over ill-spent quick fixes
For the dread of daily living.
And yet the next day wide awake
I'm perfectly content
To await the next occasion
To celebrate.
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10. |
Emo Moment 37
00:38
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I never calculated the price of my concern
You were crushed by the weight
I'm Sorry
Sometimes the expectation of nothing is too much to bear
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11. |
Backpacks
00:20
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I appreciate the effort
I believe you care
But haven’t we learned so much
In the past year
Stop the hygiene theater
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12. |
||||
Small, curled knuckle
A larger palm taking pressure of tenser fingers
Stay alert, stay alive, gentle lids, open eyes
Trickled rain from ends of hair
I pass to you
Navigates both skins
Breath restored
Two heaving chests
Clouds darken in a torrent.
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13. |
As A Mayfly
01:12
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As a mayfly done with love
Opting out of unassailable purpose
Insensitive, Numb
We could do with some more poison
How the trees frame the curve of the shoreline
Shivering—Neutered in the cold
Another line slowly defined
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14. |
Granmamare
00:58
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setting suns
set on my own
paint the stars
color of bone
wherewithal,
ready to fall
candy cane dreams
adore the call
lace hewn smiles
ring true
velvet gown
covers me
til
i'm safe
again now
til I'm safe
you're my fate
never had a face
til then I'm safe
don't burn out
til then I'm safe
now I'm inside
safe
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15. |
Venus
00:58
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I want to cut away at my flesh
Figure unwanted by the mass
Venus was a vision of beauty
Why can’t that be me
When will I stop fighting
and allow myself to be
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16. |
Passing By
01:24
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I remember when when you told me
To take everything one step at a time,
One day at a time
To be comfortable with the uncomfortable
Is truly what it means to be strong
I will carry that with me all the days of my life
With you, I am in good hands
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17. |
Sublimation
01:32
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pushed over the edge
time and time again
fragmented remains
no one left to blame
embedded into my intestines
an everlasting sickness
vertigo from the whirlwind
permanently unsettled
resilience wearing thing
i anticipate whispers and tremble
have fun breaking down all the walls
i put up for you
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18. |
Augie
01:15
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fix this
how to fit this
feel this
how to heal this.
unnerving visions from my former—
of another.
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19. |
Six of Swords
01:14
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This one’s done.
It’s really been decided.
A building, a breaking.
Yeah this one’s gone to stay.
Pushed it further than anyone could see.
Too many years (too disconnected) too deep.
And with these words a love laid to waste.
No future, no present, and broken past.
Past introspection, I pushed it away.
It’s all over, it’s dead. Yeah this one’s done.
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20. |
Lilac
01:23
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Built upon self doubt and regret
Isolation breeds destruction
Medication brings separation
Repurposing the walls of my mind helps to find a better tomorrow
An Isolated coward
Medicated in regret
Repurposing the mountains
Rehousing these walls in my mind
Sitting here in silence
Ear shattering noise decay
Sitting here in silence
Ear Shattering noise decay
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21. |
Threaded
01:31
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2% of national wealth means most adults my age hardly afford themselves. What does this say for the lives we make and the paths to raise ppl will take?
Incentivized ownership and no subsidies for health looks a whole lot to me like feudalism in stealth! The less debt’s erased the more hands it takes to pave a way for a kid the same. Baby me easily could have been raised in a house of only working women. Blended families of siblings and cousins are only growing less uncommon. Talking abt who “games the system” makes you sound like a politician. Everyday brings a new lesson to learn from immigrants and their children. It’s not hard to imagine communal parenting as a future norm created by scarcity and instinct. If yr visions of the future don’t include poverty then it will be very tough indeed to make me give a fuck abt what you think. I know the needle has been threaded and that we’re on our way backward, it’s impossible to forget it. A child w four mothers, all roommates, could be the best thing for this nation, I said it. (I said it)
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22. |
Wsup W Ya
02:07
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I’m a quicker picker upper motherfucker
Nigga I’m not these other suckers
You my nigga so I know exactly wsup w ya
Day by day I watched you set up this picture
Day by day I watched the problem get bigger
But dipping on you I would never consider
I’m not a nigga who be switchin
I’m the nigga that’s here to listen
Also I just be minding my business
So come out w it
Lettin niggas in despite all the shit that u holding in though its over with
A lesser man would never understand
A lesser man would burst like a dam
A lesser man would never comprehend that faith in this plan is not no fuckin scam
On the other hand we making the band
doing what we can while we feel we cant
Lookin yr own face in the mirror wishing you could see what we see
Wishing to be free of mortality
Wishing to be free of anxiety
Wishing to be free from yearning for peace
and earning a seat at success’ feast
and searching for release at Jesus’ feet
and coarsely screaming pleas for eternal sleep
You know I dont mean I see everything
or have an understanding of each feeling
Whether clear or in the lines’ in-between
Each of these things matter to me
You dont have to tell me everything
but I cant know or say nothing
Nigga i’m all in on yr well-being
Each of these things matter to me
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23. |
Who Benefits?
00:51
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Hat in hand
Does this impress
Without a plan
Does this impress
Half read
More damage done
Brain dead
But you feel better
Hat in hand
Who benefits
Without plan
Who benefits
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24. |
Kanoelani
01:26
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I leave my room and turn on the lamp sitting on the night stand, even though I know you won't be coming home with me.
But I still want it lit for you.
A safety beacon that won't be seen.
You're gone now and this hope for that past leaves me hollowing.
My palm would lay flat with five fingers splayed out to set on your stomach. Followed by my head to lay in the place where I used to feel safe.
Your name means heavenly mist.
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25. |
Demerol
01:42
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I can't explain the logic of the sick to the healthy
And I don't have the energy to try
I'll stay and medicate
Pray to God for Demerol
I did something terrible
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26. |
Murkfiend
01:19
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toil til nothing
is left to take
give up on
your needs
to end this
constant punishment
will the loop
ever close?
all they will want from you
is everything you have
that can be assigned value
you'll never see
they dont want you to bend
they want to see you break
it was never about your identity
only what they could take
only what they will take
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27. |
Foreshadows
01:17
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Sifting through lost messages in time
Plotting futures long abandoned
Scanning between lines
For symptoms
Fore/shadows laying deep within
Indications of demise
Losing games
So grim
The final straw, slapped on a broken back
Our history is no buffer for personal attacks
Resentment supersedes all moods
Time infects all wounds
Now you're a stranger
And you've never been stranger
You wanted substance
Well the substance got you
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28. |
Whipporrwill
02:17
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On lost words
we found new meaning
the symptoms we supressed do return
on lost words
meant no significance
the symptom of nothing have been learned
all these changes
and nothing changes
no foundation to build upon
asphyxiating
buried under the weight
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