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The Mirror

by Coma Regalia

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1.
reborn in shame brought low only to begin again. the painting's eyes follow me down the hall and as the candle lights it's the sound of me dying the smoke rises they draw their blades and taste my blood the sigils spell your name the heavens come apart torn from the stars again brought here back to life visions of this moment fill my mind 100 eyes fixed on me as i fall the blood pools in circles around my head their steps fall closer and they draw their blades the sands in the glass count the hour down the blood pools in circles on the ground make myself forget every part of you and believe it down to every last drop of blood that paints the floor of the room in protective wards as written, this ritual calls you here the false healer waits and prepares a spell with our blood together, they'll escape this hell this is the sound of me dying a covenant older than time a curse placed on this empty shell abandoned by those you'd call gods subservience immortalized
2.
I cannot hold on I am just not here no rush to return to this place just drift along and watch as the flesh operates on instinct i survive with a nod and a smile in this skin that's not mine it comes as a surprise why am i still alive? slohaugh en sperata
3.
wipe away the blood a custom, this ritual mutilation it's the first step assimilate them into this barbaric way of life what did i ever do to deserve to be stuck here in this body? the tears i've wept and a lifetime spent staring at a face that is not my own none of this world's tinctures and spells could help me forget this body the pain that's left in their places serve as a reminder this is what i deserve
4.
Fragmental 02:26
twisted and buried clinging to hope it's a light that doesn't shine where i am any semblance of it died when you did then came the anger then came the fear then came the aching it's all that's left of me here then came dissection fragmental vivisection then came the aching it's all that i am when i'm here alone, the scars come to the surface they've left me incomplete i'm so much less than half i'm not one thing and i'm not the other i'm nothing so much less than nothing
5.
seek solace in the water find it on the lake's floor my last breath escapes as it rises, i climb with it until i am above it i will be free of this empty shell that marks the difference of how i came to and what i came to be it breaks me the face i see in the water how could it be me? the reflection is cast
6.
in my dreams i see your hands reach out it's not just me that keeps me here scared and alone here in the dark it's for the best if i just don't return every time i failed you, is every time i tried all these pieces of me lost i just stopped searching broken apart and scattered pretending that i'm whole held together by necessity compulsory necessity the reflection in the mirror is a lie i cannot face am i the dead, or a demon on the other side? together we can burn this all away will we be all that's left on this side of it?
7.
Shatter 02:40
suddenly i'm gone a specter, all but disappeared i'm gone staring into darkness i know you're out there somewhere and i don't need to see my fingers trace the writings on these tunnel walls is it all in my head? here in the dark, these words may never reach you: "we were always and we always will be" but i have to find a way to escape building this sanctuary from parts of myself i tremble as all i'm made of is glass and i know this whole world would shatter with just one touch from you we brace ourselves and watch as it falls the tiny pieces dance in the light as they hit the ground i bleed for you and i can see that you're bleeding too just stay where you are please stay where you are we are already too close
8.
the princes feed on these cries you can be sure they'll get what they are wanting laid low, you hear their lies for trusting them, you'll get what you deserve will you follow me through this hell? will you be by my side until the faces you see in the mirror are yours? how many times have the demons in this world and others tried to tear us apart their pull is strong but not strong enough the princes feed you their lies promises unkept leave you uncertain left in the dark, they've all but disappeared the way ahead is blocked and i call out for you
9.
somehow expect to find a balance between what you've always known as me and the real me but you've never known the real me what does that even mean? this thing set loose only brings destruction the lie is a blade that comes in the dark across my throat and brings me peace they couldn't heal me i couldn't heal me time could never heal me and the lie brings me no peace
10.
holding onto those memories even death offers no respite brought back again and again to this miserable place so many times i'd die to make it right if you don't know the circumstances of how this all came to be don't tell me i should be grateful to be here i never asked to be here a prisoner to this bargain a failure in death and life and questioning why it matters to anyone alone here with my hope it burns so cold what a fool i am for thinking the next time could be any different still i hold on what other choice is there? it ends and so it begins again us two, on this shore, the world aflame and all the rest is ash. everything is ash. why would this time be any different?

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released March 10, 2018

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Middle-Man Records Indiana

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