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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Episode 200: Edie Quinn w guest host Elias Amini, Demo MMXXIV, Episode 199: Ben Kraco (Depiction of Man), Episode 198: Tracy Wilson (Outer World, Dahlia Seed), Episode 197: Josh McIntyre (Malevich), Episode 196: Ben Rudolph (Stress Positions, C.H.E.W.), Komarov, Episode 195: Lacey Jade (theyhungusfrompowerlines), and 377 more.
1. |
Courage
00:51
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We aren't born
We make ourselves
But we still live in the shadow
The wretched hatred we can't outdistance
A fucking felony for existing
Brothers, sisters, siblings
We need you now
Not in words and not in spirit
We make ourselves
And fight
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2. |
Mansplain It To Me Baby
00:28
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An explanation
with no pretense
sucking the air
out of the room
don't you know better?
you should know better by now
Do you know what it's like
to have your voice removed,
to withdraw from conversations,
or make yourself small?
Won't take this from you anymore
fuck you
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3. |
Suspension
01:05
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adrift
in suspended opulence
to be visible
is to be a target
i clutch my purse
wishing it was a hand
something real
instead of your
meaningless
Words
i didn’t consent
to be fetishized
my body
dissected
by the public
mind
i rip off your skin
And choke on your grave
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4. |
Heaven Is A Dead Scene
00:21
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I may not see the gates but I’ll be in great company nonetheless, can’t say the same for you. Reap what you sow!
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5. |
Smallest Bullseye
00:50
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"I was a shrinking child
Boy born with an apple on her head
Flinching target (corrupted)
I learned young to be the smallest bullseye
How a trans girl's body is always down range"
- from All I Ever Wanted to Be Was Nothing at All by Torrin A. Greathouse
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6. |
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Sincere enough
Whatever that means
Or matters
The axe forgets
The axe forgets
And truth always picks up dust
(The axe forgets)
The words that were
And will be
Can fill up
Four corners of the night
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7. |
Red Reflection
00:44
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ostracized
isolated
what must you see
in a person like me
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8. |
Less Than Nothing
00:25
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keep my head on a swivel every time i leave the house. you say i'm overreacting but for no reason at all i could wind up dead. they see me as less than nothing. whose anger is misplaced?
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9. |
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How many days until I'm a number?
How many days until I'm a tragedy?
How many days until you wish you'd known me better?
I will be gone sooner than you think.
I deserve a future
where survival feels worth it
where 30 years of pain finally has meani9ng
when will I believe that I deserve more
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10. |
Tired Of Mourning
02:21
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11. |
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12. |
Toward Liberation
01:46
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i saw Miriam Rivera
on the tv screen
when i was just a kid
maybe the first person like me
that i’d ever see
(i hadn’t yet known that “we” even existed)
exploited by executives
who’d never see her as human
perpetuating transmisogynist violence
for every one of us who has died
murdered or driven to suicide
while fascist governments turn blind eyes
pardoning the pigs who take our lives
and under the guise of protection
tear away our rights
i will never know a day of rest
i will stay and fight
i will stay alive
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13. |
Gloves
01:56
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I still wear your gloves.
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14. |
Doubt
00:48
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if you knew
what i was
i don't think you'd love me anymore
in my dreams
you see me for what i am
and i don't have to explain myself anymore
I'm just a man in a dress
and I don't have answers for the rest
of who I am
born out of ash, out of suffering, self-mothering
so choose me
like i chose you
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15. |
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"Die for this country"? You're the fucking groomers. "Freedom isn't free". You're a fucking loser. The next time you want to talk about "protecting children" take a look at your military industrial complex, your police departments, your clergy, your priests and your fucking homeowner's association.
I'm so sick of every 1 instance of a trans person doing something fucked up being used to paint the whole of us or justify our extermination when 33% of women in the armed forced report sexual assault... when 40% of police officers are domestic abusers... when thousands upon thousands of children suffered at the hands of priests and pastors. This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the systemic harm those institutions cause but a smarter person than me should write about that.
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16. |
I Know The Taste
01:22
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we already know the taste of mortality. it smells like copper and whispers threats on the wind.
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17. |
Caring Life
00:34
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at bay away
live a lie
don’t care for life
exfoliate the hatred
morality’s subjective
make every life
unlivable
as a defense mechanism
begging for light
asking for change
barely alive
its tragic to witness
addictive to watch
and fight for my friends
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