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Like Courage to a Coward

from Prolonged Exposure by All These Fucking Eyes

/

lyrics

I’m not made to love anyone. I’m too tired to pretend. I worship this suffering, tie its ropes around my wrists just to feel the burn on my skin. I wish I could live 100 lives...at least once I’d get it right.
At least in the closet, it was safe. But I can’t live in a closet; I can’t live in a bubble. Stigma is a disease.
I come undone.
Dysphoric
Euphoric
We deserve better.
I’m not made to love anyone.
Throat opens up to force out fear, feeling breath catch—is this how it ends? Insides feels like falling, body feels like stone— I know I won’t recover, cause this terror feels like home.
I’m home.
I’m surprised I’m still here.
There’s no more down from here, but the bottom’s hitting back and I can’t get up, so I stay suspended. I stay.
Can we really uplift each other if we’re all stuck at the bottom? If we just keep telling ourselves there are reasons—good reasons—maybe we’ll believe it. If we keep pretending we want to be here, that the world wants us here, maybe we’ll believe it.
A bigot’s God complex is so fucking big that everything must be in their image or it must die.
It must die.
So why don’t I die?

credits

from Prolonged Exposure, released February 27, 2019

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